Welcome to Catalonia, your majesty


Dear Felipe,

Welcome to Catalonia, your Majesty. Excuse me if I don’t bend and kiss your hand. It’s just that people here are pissed off about everything that’s been going on. You know, what you and yours have been putting them through, again.

I’d like to propose the lyrics of España es idiota by Def Con Dos for Spain’s national anthem, instead of Marta Sánchez’s really shit effort obviously aimed at idiots. I thought the lyrics were more appropriate, so I translated them into English. The song’s about everybody in Spain being stupid for putting up with the Spanish state.

I’d like to dedicate the lyrics back to their author, César Strawberry, to Valtonyc, Pablo Hasél, La Insurgencia, to all artists, all citizens suffering the persecution of the Spanish state.

It’s not that I don’t love Spain, it’s just that I don’t love your Spain. I love the Spain that isn’t comfortable with itself, that wants to be better, that wants the cover-up, the stealing, beating, cheating, insulting, humiliating, and lying about everything done in you and your father’s name to end.

You wear the Emperor’s new clothes of institutional force, of diplomatic pressure to guarantee international support, of legal persecution and false imprisonment. And you have the old guard, the aristocracy and the heirs of Franco’s structure still in power. With the complicity of the old left and the ‘new’ right, the mainstream media onside, and up against pacifists, how can you lose? It’s no contest.

Shout out to everyone who took the time to make you uncomfortable. You should be.

P.S. I couldn’t be there anyway as I’ll be watching the EFL Cup Final at Wembley, soaking up the warm yellow light accompanied by song, while your yellow light will be of disapproval, accompanied by the metallic din of pots and pans. I hope you are allowed to see and hear that repulsion again, as you were at the 2015 King’s Cup Final in a Camp Nou full of Catalans and Basques, and that it makes you reflect. (Nobody is holding their breath.)


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